Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Blurry Mind

I have been battling with this fatigue for so long. They say that Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is diagnosed only after at least 6 months of continued unexplained tiredness and fatigue.

Well, I have been like that for way way way more than half a year. Blood tests show nothing is wrong. Eye tests (so far) show everything's fine. And it makes me wonder sometimes how much of an hypochondriac I must seem to people.

But I know how I feel. and I cannot (I wish I could) shrug it away and get on with my life. It actually affects my life too much to be able to ignore it.

So I continue with tests, and I still go to work because I cannot take too many sick days without losing my job.

And the doctors they don't know. the more time passes the more I see how clueless they really are. Like little boys with toys.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

She's Back!

G is back! Woo Hoo!


I picked her up from the airport this morning, and we had fun opening some of the stuff she brought back.

It was great to see her again. She didnt have a crappy flight for a change, and was in a good mood.

She got me a new watch and a new pair of sneakers. (Photos will follow at a later date)

Life is better now. May it stay that way :)

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Relationships


Never been good at those. Probably for lack of experience.

Making mistakes seems to be the thing I do "best" in them.

It's mostly for lack of thinking, or selfishness. I could always blame it on my ADD, but it just doesn't cut it really.

I think it's like a monster in me that's trying to rebel. against what? against conformity maybe. against being tied up or domesticated. and it's not like I'm not. for the most part I am. domesticated that is. damn, it doesnt read that good.

But I do want a place to call home that includes more than just me in it. I want someone to take care of, and that want and does care for and of me.

So I keep on trying, and as I try I still make mistakes, but I also learn. sometimes not fast enough, or not well enough.



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