Days comes and go, and there's a dread inside me. A feeling of futility. Like nothing I do actually matters.
It makes me feel powerless, weak both physically and emotionally. And it builds the darkness inside me. Feeds it. It's a disabling feeling.
At times like these, I feel rage and frustration on one hand, and no will to do anything on the other. Even so, I still have to work, and to handle myself with regard to my surroundings.
I keep fighting it, this diabilitating feeling. Because it makes me want to lose myself and drive people I love away from me. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.
The best way to describe this feeling, is how you feel when you're just about to have a good cry. But it stays on the inside.. this wanting to cry, and grows stronger and bigger and choking.
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